Three monkeys sat in a coconut tree

Discussing things as they’re said to be.

Said one to the others: “Now listen, you two,

There’s a particular rumor that can’t be true

That man descended from our noble race –

Why the very idea is a disgrace!

“No monkey ever deserted his wife,

Starved her babies and ruined her life;

And you’ve never known a mother monkey

Leave her babies with others to bunk,

Or pass them on from one to another

‘Til they scarcely know who their mother is.

“And another thing you’ll never see –

A monkey build a fence around a coconut tree,

Forbidding all other monkeys to taste

And let the coconuts go to waste.

Why! if I built a fence around a coconut tree

Starvation would force you to steal from me.

“Here’s another thing a monkey won’t do:

Go out at night and get in a stew,

Or use a gun or club or knife

To take some other monkey’s life.

Yes, man descended, the ornery cuss,

But brother, he didn’t descend from us!”

Author unknown